Category Archives: Beer

Croucher Patriot. American Black Ale.

croucher patriot 001

About two years ago while I was on the hunt to try different Dark beers and Porter Ales, I came across Croucher Brewing Company’s Patriot, American Black Ale, brewed in Rotorua.
It was exactly the sort of Oddity that I was looking to try.
At nearly $10 for 500mls it was on the pricey side, yet in the name of Beer Science and culture I decided to give it a crack.

Copy of me beer
Beer Miester Tim Wikiriwhi at work in the field.

It was very different to any other Black beer I had ever tasted!
Quite shockingly strong on the Hoppiness…something I have never really enjoyed and one of the reasons I prefer Porter ales… yet after a few glasses I was quite enthralled with *this* sort of Hopps!
It actually converted me to the Idea that I should be experimenting more with hopps in my VonTempsky Heroic Ales …homebrew, and though after several ‘fails’…. Batches I will not be repeating, I still cant help but love this Patriot American Black Ale and wish I could figure out how to get some of that magic into my own brews.
I rank this Beer very highly.

Read some more reveiws about it Here:

I have also found out via Croucher’s Face book page that they also Brew an ‘Ethiopian Coffee Stout’ which has gone on tap at Galbraith’s Alehouse Auckland!

As I am a Fan Of Coffee Porters, and Brew my own, I cant wait to get my grubby hands on a few Bottles of this Coffee Stout!
When I do I will report!
Coffee Porters Keep very well.
I am drinking some I brewed about two years ago and still tastes great!
I brew up a very very ‘expresso’ strength jug of Maccona and put a shot glass full in each 750ml bottle before filling with my Porter brew.
That works very well.
See my Home brew Face Book Page for VonTempsky’s heroic Ales Here:

New Prohibitions. How our Police and Government work for Criminal Gangs.

Just a few of the vested interests in mantaining Hysteria and the Drug war.

What is the definition of Stupidity?
It’s when someone keeps doing the exactly the Same thing over and over and yet expecting different results!

Question: Has Cannabis prohibition succeeded in keeping Pot off the Streets?
Think hard about this….

The Stats actually prove that Prohibition doe’s absolutely *Nothing* to prevent Cannabis use!
The reality is over 50% of Kiwi’s have ignored the prohibitions and smoked Pot, and the rest simply don’t want to!
Thus the Law does *Zero* to halt drug use, and in fact the stats show that prohibition actually makes our schools etc less safe because of the Criminal monopoly… and vendors who have less scruples about who they sell their drugs to than Legitimate regulated traders.

The NZ Herald reports…‘Dairy drug sales to be banned within weeks’

This is simply a repeat of the failed BZP Prohibition which was only a success… for the Gangs and P dealers!
The truth is the BZP Ban removed a cheaper, and safer alternative to P (Meth amphetamine) …an alternative which many hundreds of Drug users were taking advantage of and thus depriving Criminal organisations of millions of Dollars, and helping the recreational drug user to stay out of trouble with the Law and reducing the negative impact of their drug habits upon their Families… esp in relation to Paying the rent, Putting food on the table, and warm clothing in winter… the Illegal market cost of drugs being astronomical… *while demand remains unchanged.*

People Love to do Drugs!

Alcohol is a Drug!… Of Course the A-Dealers (Alcohol) love these prohibitions too… and you wonder why NZ has a Culture of excessive Drinking and drink related violence and crime!

Yet the Populist politicians and Media never mention these sorts of factors… they pretend they don’t exist.
They continue to maintain the lie that such Nanny State Prohibitions ‘make our communities safer’, and yet no one considers the reality that having Legal sales of drugs actually ‘makes our communities safer!’ and that Prohibition not only works to finance criminal Gangs and results in Underworld crimes between rival gangs, Home invasions trying to steel drugs, Murder and violence when deals go bad, etc etc… it also means more young people end up ‘associating’ with criminal Gangs from whom they buy their drugs.

And this refusal to think through all these negative consequences of ‘the war on drugs’ also panders to the willful bigotry and fear of the Sheeple… whom love tyranny… in the name of oppressing their ‘Jews’… ie the unpopular minorities they have demonized.

Then they wonder why their Teenage sons and daughters don’t want anything to do with them!
Then they blame ‘the drugs’ when their adult Children end up in court and jail on Drug offences!
They never consciously admit to themselves that it is their own bigotry which has now alienated them from their Adult Teenage Kids and has destroyed their lives by allowing the state to take away their rights and liberties, to criminalize them and oppress them!
This is how the Stupidity is perpetuated…
Tyranny is far more harmful to our society than the recreational drugs they fail to control.

What the Government ought to do is simply put an R18 restriction on sales of Party pills and synthetic Cannabis, giving the Dairy owners an incentive to only sell such products to adults.
The also should Legalise Cannabis, and BZP, and Nos!

Struth! Auzzy Stout!… Coopers Best Extra Stout.

auzzy stout 003

Coopers Best extra Stout… having been recommended this Auzzy Stout by an Eternal Vigilante… my team of Highly experienced Analysts and affectionados are putting this Brew through strenuous scientific tests…. using the most Flash Gear.
The result will indisputably… conclusively…. Unquestionably be the most Clinical, Objective, Authorotive, and up to date evaluation of any Beer ever!
Here it comes…. ditditditditditditdit….ditdit… My assistant Borek has just handed me the printout…


All Righty Then!
Now This Beer comes in a Manly sized 750ml bottle! It gets a big tick for that.
It was on special at the best Beer outlet on either side of the Mighty Waikato…West Hamilton’s New World Te Rapa… for less than $6, normally about $6.50 which is still ‘Crickey Dick’ Cheep…. esp for a 6.3% Brew! …another two big ticks there!
And as for the taste???? ???? ????
Not Bad! Surprisingly Drinkable!
It’s not as nice as the Renaissance Elemental Porter I had the other night, or as nice as the Pitch Black Stout on Tap at the House Bar on Hood st Hamilton, or as nice as Geeks Cocoanut Porter ale, or as nice as a Boundary Rd’s Chocolate Porter… but still Its very Good.

What is very nice is the kick! 😀

Tie Me Kangaroo down Sport! Coopers Best Extra Stout Redeems Auzzy piss somewhat!
At that Price… It’s Bloody Good, and I am Stoked that I gave it a try!
It’s a winner.
Chur Bro! (Mark) 😀

Beer Schoolin Richard G …. Porter Ale is King!

renaissance porter 005

What a fine drop this is!!!!
6% too! 😀
Take note Richard G of the statement below!
esp… “Beer of Choice”…. “a supprising effective accompaniment for Dark chocolate, coffee,…”


Elemental is our most awarded beer, it has won gold medals in Australia and New Zealand and for a time it was rated New Zealand’s top beer, no mean feat for a porter of moderate alcohol and a balanced finish.

Originally the beer of choice for workers in London’s produce markets, the beer was a mixture of the previous nights slops that the “porters” would drink when they clocked off at dawn. Porter is also Andy’s all time favourite beer style. Brewed in the modern ‘robust’ style, Elemental Porter is a rich, full bodied brew with plenty of dry, dark chocolate and roasty malt flavours which gradually give way to a cleansing hop-driven finish.

Not intuitively thought of as as a food beer it is a surprisingly effective accompaniment for:

•Dark chocolate
•Coffee or berry-based desserts
•Blue cheese
•Barbecued meats
And although historically it was a sunrise beer, we think nowadays it is probably more suited to an be served after dinner with desserts and cheese, although if you want to drink it at day break, we’re not going to stop you.


Andy and Brian

^^^^quote is from here:

Tim W 001
Grunge Miester Tim Wikiriwhi Queenstown Motorcamp. New Years Day 1999.
That’s a Montieths Black… Porter Ale! …. actually may be a Black Mac. 🙂
My Fav beer for 20 odd years was Waikato Draught, yet that was notoriously hard to get on the Mainland, and so on that ‘mission’ I was buyin up Montieths Black (you can get it by the Jug down there!) and also swillin Black Macs.
That bottle looks more like a Mac one than a Montieths.
And for the record both Black Montieths and Black Macs are bloody good ales!
Despite being bought out by Big Brewers…
I present that quote from Renaissance Brewing as evidence against previous remarks by my fellow blogger… re My endorsement of both Porter Ale and in particular Boundary Road Chocolate Porter Ale.

See Here: Stealth RTDs

…and Here (and the Comments!) New Zealand Beer War. Geek Coconut Porter.

New Zealand Beer War. Geek Coconut Porter.

geek porter and Romy's cars 009

It’s an indisputable fact that Real Kiwi Jokers Drink Porter Ale… not Lager!
Lager is Auzzie Piss.
Ok for chicks…like that Mexican urine they drink with a slice of lemon.
New Zealand is now in the violent throws of a Beer Revolution.
Is Geek Coconut Porter NZ’s finest brew?
It could well be.
Now I like Boundary Road Chocolate Porter, esp when I can get it for $13.00 rather than $18.00 per six pack. It tastes mighty fine yet it’s only 4.5%.
Geek Coconut Porter on the otherhand costs $5.oo per stubby yet is 6%… and tastes Damn fine too!!!
This is a tuff call.
Both taste great.
It’s a play off between Volume vs Bang.

Read about Geek Coconut Porter here:

If your Piss shop does not stock it… GO SOMEWHERE ELSE! … or ask them to get some.

P.S I suggest readers pay little heed of what my Fellow Blogger Richard writes on such lofty issues as Beer. His doctorate in Philosophy is a woefully insufficent credential.
(Hume himself is rolling in his grave!)
Richard should stick to Mycology. (Esp at this time of the year!)


I on the otherhand was born in Tokoroa, Am Founder and Master Brewer @ VonTempsky Heroic Ales, and I ride a Triumph.
Tim Wikiriwhi.


VonTempsky Heroic Ales Here:

Stealth RTDs

stealth_rtdsI tried Boundary Road Brewery’s Sticky Wicket manuka honey lager … it tastes like fizzy manuka honey.

I tried Boundary Road Brewery’s Chocolate Moose chocolate porter … it tastes like fizzy chocolate syrup.

These are not craft beers for the discerning adult palate, they’re alcoholic soft drinks for children. Notwithstanding that Boundary Road Brewery does make some half-decent beers—I already rated the Bouncing Czech pilsener, and the Mumbo Jumbo IPA is currently my preferred beer in its price range—I’m disappointed.

I suppose that if beer-flavoured lemonade is your thing, you can’t go past the Lawn Ranger lemon and lime infused lager, but otherwise I wish BRB would stick to making actual beer.